Grad School: On moving to a new school, new city, new state

Each learner is unique in their own way. This is evident when John Dewey believed that the learning experience should be tailored to the individual needs of the student. Lev Vygotsky believed that we learn based on our interactions with our environment and Nevitt Standford wrote about the necessary balance of challenge and support. Because of this, there is an unlimited possibility on how one can experience their graduate experience. To truly plan for everything one could experience would require omnipotent powers. Sadly, I cannot bestow such powers on anyone. However, what I can do is make my experience open for anyone to observe and learn. This is a list of possibilities one can experience during their transition to grad school. This is a list of things to watch out for, things to give caution to, and things to just completely avoid.  My experience is not yours, and neither is yours mine. However, I there are some things that have some universality. This by all means is not an exhaustive list, rather a starting point for one to reflect on their true selves and how they will react to a new environment. This list is not absolute, something you will never see. However, some things to consider:

  1. It isn’t always fun
  2. You will not always become automatic friends with your classmates
  3. You will struggle
  4. You will be overwhelmed, exhausted, bored, and even pressured
  5. Imposter Syndrome is real (look it up if you don’t now. It will be good practice for you to do your own research on topics).
  6. You have to advocate for yourself and make sure “you get yours”. Chances are, a lot will be asked of you and you will feel a lot of emotions. If you don’t take the time you need, you can and will fail.
  7. You have to get away. Get off campus, off the map, go reflect, go be you.
  8. Make friends that you don’t work with, take classes with, or do “student-affairs things” with. When you make said friends, limit or try not to talk about work and class.
  9. You know only your experiences. Period. You don’t know all, you can’t, so be cool with feeling dumb/lost.
  10. Don’t talk about your undergrad. As much as I love Ole Miss that is Ole Miss. Give your new place a chance. Be careful when you do talk about your prior experiences because you can easily offend people. Hard lesson learned.
  11. Go for a walk, listen to music, and explore.
  12. Find a mentor, someone who will call you out, someone to cry with, someone to laugh with. This can be one or multiple people.
  13. Don’t gossip. Listen when people do and make mental notes. People can be real shitty and stupid at times and you don’t want none of that toxicity in your life.
  14. Learn from other’s mistakes
  15. Learn from your mistakes
  16. “They” will tell you it is not about the grads but what you learn. True. But when you grow up in a K-12 and undergrad system that depends of pure memorization and “getting the grades”, it is about both. If you not satisfied with what you are learning or the grades, change it.
  17. “Trust the process” or don’t. Make it your own. (I’m a Rebel so I make my own way)
  18. Don’t say “I know this will probably offend someone but….” Chances are, you are going to shove your own foot so far down your mouth it will become a permanent member of your digestive system. I’ve said this, others have, and many will. Just don’t. Reflect, write down your thoughts, think about your privileges, and reflect some more.
  19. It is ok to make mistakes. It is not ok for your ignorant privilege to attack, offended, or appropriate others.
  20. Speak from your own view, do not ask someone to speak for a whole group of folks.
  21. If what you are thinking is not “good”, then don’t say it and reflect. Mistakes are ok but don’t be an ass.
  22. Journal, blog, talk to yourself, whatever you have to do to help reflect.
  23. It is ok to hate your classes, your job, your whatever. Everything can and will be ok. Reflect, make the necessary changes, and carry on.
  24. Take time to plan your schedule. Be deliberate.
  25. “Treat yo self”
  26. Say “yes” and “no”. Opportunities are all around. So take advantage and also know there are always more.
  27. Take time to talk to family (I like postcards personally), undergrad friends, and mentors. Don’t let the grass grow under you relationships.
  28. Do your own research. Look up random stuff, stuff you don’t know, stuff you think you know.
  29. Even if you think you know, you can still learn from any experience.
  30. Make your own theories. Self-author something that explains how you know what you know.
  31. Learn what words are “PC” and what isn’t. It shouldn’t be other people’s responsibility to correct you. Do your own research but don’t get caught up on every detail. Mistakes are ok but don’t be an ass.
  32. Find someone “different” than you. Make that person your friend. We learn at the intersection of discomfort and unknown. You will find out new things, both good and bad, about yourself. Embrace what you learn and do what is necessary.

This by all means is not everything that can happen. This is not what all you will experience or see. Make your own list and share with others. Know that you are not in this struggle/journey alone, but you have to respect yourself too. Learn from my mistakes, learn from others, and learn from yourself. Learning is a lifelong process so enjoy the ride because it will get intense.

Cheers.

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