TFM: it needs to stop

Well, two posts in one day. You can tell I’m sure fired up today.

Total Frat Move, something that requires little to no introduction in this day and age. TFM is full of bigotry, ignorance, and a slew of other things I can’t even begin to write about them all. But what I am going to write about is simple: we need to stop it. Who is we? First it is those of us decent in the fraternity world that know better than to let this shit continue. It is also our job to educate our fellow brothers that aren’t so knowledgeable about the awfulness that is this organization and movement. Second it is…well everyone should.

TFM perpetuates systems of rape culture. TFM perpetuates system of patriarchy. TFM perpetuates images of partying hard, disrespecting women (and everyone quite frankly), and being total shit heads. Now I’m not saying EVERYONE is a shit head who follows this organization, but everyone is a shit head. 

TFM is doing way more damage that it is good. It is an organization that knows not what it is doing and is setting up awful images for future leaders to model themselves after. I would be a liar if I said I’ve never thought TFM was cool. But then I grew up and slowly becoming more aware of my privileges as a fraternity man.

I assure you this rant COULD GO ON FOR HOURS. But for the sake my time I will keep it short and challenge all who read this, regardless if you are in a fraternity or sorority, and think about what TFM does. THINK about what all this organization (and I’m sure TSM as well) does to our culture. If we truly want to make a systematic change, we need to start with ourselves with with what the future leaders look up to. I’m sure as hell tired of having my reputation as a fraternity man tarnished because of TFM, aren’t you?

White is White: You can’t cover up what the world sees

“In addition to specifying one’s European ancestry, and reclaiming lost family traditions, this shift (of distancing self from whiteness) can also be understood as a way to distance oneself from claims made by people of color about some imagined “standard white American,” and from political assertions that whites have “unearned” privilege or are responsible for disadvantaged position of minorities.
-Jennifer L. Eichstedt, Problematic White Identities and a Search for Racial Justice.
When the light is flashed on us white folk about our white privilege, we come up with various excuses: “oh I’m working class, I don’t get the privilege because I had to work for everything I’ve gotten” or “that’s only for straight people” or “no I’m actually Italian on my mom’s side, not white”. While it may seem impossible to put all whiteness on the same level, it is the same in this system of power and privilege where white folk win and folk of color loose. We can’t pick and choose what identity trumps our whiteness – white is visible, white wins. And this is something we need to own up to.
Us white folk also try and see persecution that happens to us as well within these excuses. “Oh I grew up as the only white kid in my neighborhood” or “Oh I was the only Jewish kid in my high school”. Simply because you were the minority in one example doesn’t mean you are THE minority that looses in a system of power and privilege. This is like saying reverse racism is a think. IT IS NOT A THING. How can white people who control it all observe pervasive and damaging racism? That would imply that people of color have power over us white folk WHEN THEY DON’T.
Now, that’s not to say you can’t be shot because you’re white or be picked last to play a pick up game because you’re white. That can happen to anyone at anytime. What the point we white folk need to understand is that we DON’T LIVE IN CONSTANT FEAR that it will happen simply because of the color of our skin. We can push people of color out of our neighborhoods or simply move. We can send our children to expensive private schools. We can simply work for another company. White people can do whatever, whenever if we really wanted to.
Why are there so many success stories of white folk “making it rich” and so many stories of people of color being “gang bangers and criminals”? Us white folk need to wake up because this is not just, this is not freedom, this is not the world I want to live in and neither should you. It will be hard because we white folk benefit from this system. Why give up something that is helping us win? I don’t have the answer to that, yet. I will grow and learn more about my whiteness and hopefully one day understand what it is to be a true ally for equality. But I do know I want to do what I can to help end this system that kills and destroys so many people.
If I had to summarize it all it would be this: It’s not “The American Dream”, it’s “The White American Dream”.

First let me introduce myself: #SAviews

13322115_10157103633525195_297510175469595778_n.jpgHey y’all,

So it has only been a few short days since my last post and only a few weeks into the summer. There are some changes going on and they are now in the works. But first, let me (re) introduce myself and all the details.

Name: Justin Kyle

Occupation: Higher Education Student Affairs

Future plans: World domination

Actual future plans: becoming an advocate of change

Desired future position: Chancellor of Ole Miss

Areas of interest: Fraternity and Sorority Life, Student Activities, Service-Learning, Housing and Residence Life, and Orientation.

Areas of interest not related to professional life but should be: craft beer, whisky, Pokemon, music (vinyls are rad), sloths, beaches, and thrift shopping.

So now that all of those things are out of the way, let’s talk about what is new.

New blog: I’ve decided that my old blog “private thoughts in a public world” was too narrow. So, after much creative thinking, I’ve decided to create a new hashtag and in the process a new blog title: #SAviews. SA meaning Student Affairs and views meaning my view of xyz. It also helps with Insta and twitter so I can stay organized. yay.

New ambitions: I’ve decided that life is too short to be narrow minded. A year ago I would have said I only want to every work at large, public institutions. After my experience at Coe College, I’ve decided that the opportunities are boundless and I can learn any and everywhere. Yay for increasing breadth of employment!

New Goals: Let’s be honest, I have no clue as to what I am doing. Instead of pretending, I want to be genuine. So with that said, I have a few basic goals and everything else just happens

  • continously learning about my priviliges, the systems of opression that impact so many, and doing what I can when I can, listening when I should, and advocating when necessary.
  • getting a MBA
  • getting a Ph.D.
  • working for my national fraternity, Pi Kappa Phi
  • have a wife, kid(s), dog, and a sloth
  • traveling the world
  • learning all I can so that I can return to Mississippi and make a difference in the backwards state I call home.

New attitude: I’ve been an ass at times (a lot). I have my set way of acting around some and that’s just not cool. From hence forth I am all in. No matter what the circumstance, I want to be fully present. No matter the task at hand, I want to do my all. No matter the amount of ice cream before me, I will eat it all. See where I’m going with this?

Now you may saying, dude what the hell are you rambling about? At that I will just default to the blank stare, smile, and wave routine. I rarely understand half the things that I do so explaining this would require a beer and a long conversation (which I am always down for).

So without further delay, I give you #SAviews – my personal hashtag, blog, journey, thoughts, feelings, emotions, attitudes, love of sloths, and oxford commas.